Entries for September, 2004
September 3, 2004
September 4, 2004
everything is perfect like a splendid love song... Posted at 03:09 PM saya. la lang. wohoo! |
September 5, 2004
September 7, 2004
nahack ako!!!! Posted at 01:44 AM nahack ang aking tabulas account... tingnan nio nag bago ang aking stale na site... meron na tong blue na ewan sa background! astig! no! hehe joke lang... binago ito ni toot. ng lingid sa aking kaalaman! hmp! |
September 7, 2004
super duper wasted night of eternal perversion Posted at 01:56 AM at long last its HELL WEEK almost 3 days akong wala sa bahay... nag jpcs bullshit muna kami na walang nangyari (nanlo lang ako ng ISP yeah) tas nagovernight kami sa bahay nung kaklase ko para gawin ung commercial shempre kung wala ako don di di sila nakagawa kasi walang marunong magdrawing sa kanila... hay... hirap ng sau inaasa. tas dumeretso skul para sa 9 am class ko na nalate ako dahil dun sa tarantadong jeepney driver na nagsabi na dadaan ng makati ave ung jeep. eh puta ibang makati ave ung nababaan ko.. buti na lang may reposo na tricycle don eh aun di ako late... tas RD! taenang yan. pinatalsik ko na ung kagrup ko eh tarantado eh walang gnagawa... kami na lang ni cloz ang natira... ayun ccmulan na namin ang project na dapat weeks ago pa sinimulan... well andrean spirit is still with us... wahehe.. CRAM! tapos pag tapos ng RD naghintay ako ng text mula sa mga kgrup ko ulit gagawa na kami ng punyetang MTV na yan... (shit di na nga ako magmumura may magagalit) kumain muna ako sa jolly jeep ng ultimate sisig with three rice at ayun naghintay ako hanggang 1:30 sa library.. natulog ako sa lib hehe.. nahuli ng dalawang beses ng guard at nung ********* librarian na un. kill joy ampz. kasama ko natulog ung isang kaklase ko eh pag gising ko wala na! iniwan ako... tapos tapos... aun bumaba ako, tas nakita ko si mj, kasama ung kagrup nia aun tapos pag labas ni mj saktong nagtext ung si kune ung kagroup k.. aun di punta ako sa MAKATI PARK at di ako naligaw... nagshoot kami kaso may problema... di ko alam ung lyrics puro ako concept concept at di ko pala alam ung lyrics... mahirap kaya maginng director, creative artist, actor, cameraman/> at the same time... shet. di aun balik kami sa skul kasi may class pa kami sa mulmed... paktapos non (pagod na pagod na pagod na ko) balik kami park at tinapos ung ******** MTV... as nakauwi ako ng mga 10 kumain at nag internet tas tumawag sa toot ko... tas natulog... saya ako kasi bago ako matulog...hehe wala lang. at di bastos ginawa ko... BOW nyeta... nag dear diary ampz. birdman (inulit ko) pagod na pagod na pagod |
September 7, 2004
cge sibat na ko Posted at 02:14 AM cge sibat nako late na koeh! mag ddiary ulit ako mamaya! hehehe... sawap pala nito. |
September 7, 2004
you have no idea what i am blabbing about Posted at 02:53 PM haha funny how people's minds work... you can easily spot when somethings wrong... you can actually read what are they thinking... well, i guess you don't know what i'm blabbing about... sakin na lang yon.. well i guess my saying "if you love her go get her tiger" should be revised... it should be "if you love her go get her tiger, and if you are too tired getting her - stop" basta! alam ko wala kaung clue sa mga pinagsasabi ko... ayun. funny, how someone can make you the happiest person alive and make you the most miserable one at the same time... experiencing pain is such a special moment in your life because in your lifetime you experienced pain and love. love is what makes us alive and pain makes us stronger. if you experienced pain once, learn to live by it and don't let history repeat itself. you have to move on. move on. i experience love pain love and pain respectively, i guess it all ends (and i say it always ends in pain) but somehow i am still grateful that in my lifetime i experienced this funny little thing called love. but what hurts the most when you believe that what you both feel is true kaso hindi pwedeng maging kayo! gets nyo ba (hehe di ko na kayang englishin eh) so this always leave you wondering kung minahal ka nga nya ba? kasi mahal ka nya daw pero di pwedeng maging kayo? gets niyo ba ha!? o basta ayun. you end up wondering. yes, pain is always paired with love. amen to that. arguments always come with love. THERE is NO such relationship without arguments, that is such a bulshit! bulcrap! bulltae! bullebs! eh yun daw ang ayaw nia, so pano sha makakahanap ng lalakeng di nakikipag-away? di naman pde shotain mo ung patay... oh well. love hurts. but i am hell suprised that i am not hurt that much. i think i matured enough not to think about someones deceptions and clever cover stories. and i know you have no fucking idea what i am talking about... another emo attack... someday you will find that right someone... and if you thought you found her? think again. and be ready to be hurt. to bleed. 10000 ways how women break your heart break up day |
September 7, 2004
decisions decisions Posted at 11:22 PM she will make her decision sometime this week... if i would stay or would i go... she holds the answer... pag yes, i will run. run and wait for her (as always) as her pains slowly fades without me...and i will introduce to her the new me... the new me that do not give her those wake up calls, good night calls, long letters, sweet goodbyes, those kisses and many more... and if her bleeding stops, i will come back. and i hope she's not too late. her king may find someone new if she takes too long. but she need not to worry, it will also take long before my pains go away and let myself find another new. madami jan sa tabe tabe... meron sa casimiro at sa quezon city... oh hell yes i will wait... but not that long pag no, i will stay and help her. help her recover. help her forget the pain. help her be happy. make her happy. she knows it hurts inside. but she should choose. she said she love me but why it can't be? i just can't imagine what pain the other guy brought her to have her bleeding open like that.. i wish i could just stop the bleeding and help her anew. oh holy crap. i am late gotta go... her name i always whisper... |
September 8, 2004
wait or run? (another emo attack) Posted at 04:42 AM psh... di ko na alam gagawin ko!? gusto ko umalis kaso hindi pede... hayup na cake kasi yan eh... but seriously... i still don't know if i will wait once again if she says no i am so tired. i am weary. but i am hopeful. i will go away but the other allan will stay, watching her closely recovering from her pain. but the other one may find someone on the way. maybe she can make him happy. make the miserable him happy. but he made up his mind... he will wait. waiting patiently for her. too bad i'll break the deal i made for her... yes, i am sad too but i have to do it. it'll help her i guess. the pain she caused me is unexplainable. unbearable. but i guess it all comes with loving someone. she once said that if you love, you are risking your heart to get broken but the joy it brings makes it worth it. somehow she's right. no. she is right. she said last night that she will come back to me. but when well i just hope she will, because i am here, i am always here. stupid me. why did i let go off the chance? pumayag na sha eh! bat tatanga tanga pa ako? well, the answer is, she hurt me before that... and i am still recovering from it... but now that i am recovered, she is the one who's going away. i let go of the IT moment once again... too bad. ok, i am at another crossroad once again... another one. a decision i have to take... will i go or will i stay? i have no fucking clue what to answer. maybe later i will find some answer... maybe later... when i am gone. |
September 9, 2004
coz there's this burning like there's always been Posted at 12:01 AM i will go to her house later. we will watch our final movie together before she make her decision which will conclude kung cnong allan na ang makikita niya... and i hope that whatever decision she make, she will be happy. because if she's happy, i can pretend to be too. and still the question lingers in the back of my tormented carcass: will i stay or will i run? run away from it all. are you ready? somehow i know what will she answer. but i am still not quite prepared of what shock will hit me. i am not ready... but i will face it. been hurt so many times before. maybe this one won't hurt much. but it will leave a scar. because this will be the last time. this will be the last time that i will bleed. so this heart will not bleed anymore. it will never be thesame like before. she will meet the new me. i will introduce the new me. i just hope she damn make her mind up. she will be amazed how can i take the punches and don't bother accepting defeat. i will wait. will be waiting. ----------- because this will be the last time we'll be friends again then i'll get over her and she'll wonder who i am... and there's this burning like there's always been... i never been so alone and i never been so alive. |
September 9, 2004
just wait a little longer... Posted at 12:07 AM we both decided na lumayo muna ako... kaso di pala namin kaya... mamimiss daw niya ako... sabi ko, kung wala ako mas mamimiss niya ako at mas mabilis na sha makakapagdecide... sabi nia nabawasan daw yung pain niya... which is a good sign. she said she will come back to me i decided to break the deal once again... but i can't. so ngayon, di na ako aalis... lielow lang muna ng onte... papamissin ko daw muna sha ng onti... kasi ayaw nia ng totally na lumayo ako. o cge yun ang gagawin ko. and if i will be hurt once more.... maybe that will be the last time. i can't fight no longer. i will surrender this time. maybe that's what she wants. for me to stop bleeding. yes, that will be the last time i'll bleed. suko na ko. baka dun na lang ako sa mahal ako... this fight has been run over and over again. maybe its time to stop. we will find out. one last time. one last hurting and the hero will stop. ----------------------- pull the trigger and the nightmare stops |
September 9, 2004
habang bumabaha ng luha Posted at 01:04 PM hello life... eto nanaman ako sa isa pang entry saking dear diary... sira frendster eh... kaya post na lang ako dito. umaga: gawa gawa ako nung sa flash namin... kaso linshak na yan, di compatible ang mx ko sa mx 2004 nila... kaya nilagay ko na lang sa diskette at binigay ko don sa kaklase ko... kaso di niya rin na bigay... linshak na yan. tas si lei... letseng prof yan, sabi niya my class eh ayun nag interview... linshak talaga... tanghali: ayun, chumibog ako ng binaon sakin ng ka2long namin... pnasahan ako ng load ni mj, puntahan ko daw sha sa JP... eh shado akong pagod at antok sabi ko pa naman... bbgyan ko sha ng coleslaw kaso di ko sha nabigyan hehe....ayun tas natulog na lang ako sa library kasama si debi at pnuntahan ako ni mj don (being the good actor that i am) para mag star sa kanyang MTV kaso bangag ako... tas hinihingan ako ng concept eh may kausap sha kaya binuksan ko muna ung novel na hineram ko. nakita niya. nagalit tas umiyak ampz. linshak na yan... hapon: di tambay ako ngaun sa JPCS kasama ang aking frendly frens... unti unti na naming naiinvade ang JP... after the canteen, now the JPCS... next the whole MAPUA!!!!! nyahaha! aun, guilty pa den sa pag iyak ni em... tas ayun kami na lang nag chismisan ni trachelle... eh nagtanong na sa aking toot life... tas aun, sinabi kong lahat sa kanya... wla eh, di na kaya pa... nagbigay naman ng ok na advice. kaso shempre ako pa den ang may decision diba... chaka sha. tas ang masama pa jan dahil sa sobrang gigil ko don sa matatabang braso ni trachelle na-karate chop ko! nabigla lang ako... mukhang mamamasa nga eh... yari ako kay gels niya, tapos non kinarne niya ako sa pisil sa isa kong vital point- ang legs tapos pasok na ko don sa math class namin... linshak na linshak nayan! gagawa kami ng program para magawa ang isang game tree! if our burdens are not enough! may dumagdag pa! shiet! ayun, tas mejo guilty nanaman ako kasi nag pahintay si debitots sakin kasi hihintayin nia ang boyfriend niyang si israel james casidsid kaso di ko hinintay kasi gs2 ko nang umuwi at may deal kami ni toot. hay... e2 ako sa bahay... busog. at di pagod... which is a firstime in months. ----------------------- habang bumabaha ng luha hindi niya napupuna na meron pang saysay ang buhay... di niya lang napapansin... |
September 10, 2004
i want to hold you now, coz this maybe the last time i wil evr d Posted at 02:45 AM umaga nanaman! wala kaming pasok sa RD... nakakatamad... tsk. 4:30 pa class ko walang magawa! gusto ko manood ng terminal ni Tom hanks... ala.... hehe la lang, ok lang naman kagabi. (mga 9:30pm) kakatuwa lang... secret na un. kahit papano na ok na ko... hehe tas mga 11 tumawag sina patty.. wla lang... nagiinuman sila dapat sumama na lang ako... na share ko ung mga hinagpis ko sa buhay eh... tas kanina sinabi ko na sinabi ko na sa iba kasi di ko na kayang itago sakin lang at kailangan ko ng advice, ayun, mukhang nabadtrip... mukhang ayaw nia talaga malaman ng iba... hay... basta... wla lang, natuwa lang ako kagabi. at di ako pagod... another first in months. |
September 10, 2004
if you could only let me help you take the pain away Posted at 05:57 AM if you only let me and we'll know. hope its not too late. don't know if i can hold a little longer... i just hope that i do, if not, you could kiss me hard because that will be the last time that i will let you and i will say goodbye for the last time... i can wait but not forever... |
September 10, 2004
if the morning comes too late Posted at 09:58 PM nyeta! tragis! cramming to the max! wala akong alam practical namin mamaya sa SQL (exactly one hour and thirty minutes from now)... amp! at isisingit ko pa ung linshak na flash sa lab namin mamaya dahil d pde ung MX 2004 sa WIN 2000! shiet! super cramming delight! oh well, inuman mamaya kena berna! lunurin ang problema at tayo'y maglasingan! --------------------------------- kahit na ilang ulit mo pa akong saktan basta't sa susunod di mo na ko iiwan |
September 10, 2004
because i need you now more than i ever did Posted at 10:02 PM sa kaibigan ko sa taas... salamat sa araw na to. batid ko na punong puno ng pagsubok ang susunod na linggo. tulungan niyo muna akong kalimutan ang pinakamamahal kong tao sa mundo at isauna muna ang aking mga problema sa paaralan. tulungan niyo akong hindi makatulog. tulungan niyo akong hindi makaidlip. sapagkat bawat oras ay mahalaga at di na pwedeng magaksaya. ayoko matapos ang lahat. tulungan niyo den sha na makarecover. tulungan niyo den sha sa lahat. ayoko siyang iwan. ok ba? o sige dito na lang... late na ko eh! |
September 12, 2004
she hates me... Posted at 12:29 AM and i know it, but i feel nothing. it is just a scrape against my severed heart... my heart can't get any worse. ------------------------------------ if you could slit my throat, and with one last gasping breath, i apologize for breathing on your shirt |
September 12, 2004
habang binabagtas ang masukal na daan patungong kawalan Posted at 10:15 AM oh yeah! kahit walang nagjack ass (ala games) ay masaya pa din ang tropa... buti na lang nagyaya akong mag road trip. grabe shento bente magpatakbo si aloc at sa shoulder nag oover take linshak na laguna yan nakakatakot! sa sobrang exitement namin naihi si nick sa kanyang salawal at kami ay bumalik para kunin ang camera ni marasigan at kumuwa ng isang mapanindig balahibong mga tagpo sa susana heights ang mission: hanapin ang white lady ng susana heights na si susana roces gabay ang aming walang kamatayang katapangan at tiwala sa sarili binagtas namin ang mga matatarik na daan. Buo ang loob, aking sinimulan ang pagkuwa sa camera... nagpaalam na din ako sa aking nanay kung sakali mang di na ko makabalik ng buhay. madami kaming nakitang kababalaghan... kabilang na dito ang asong nagiging lobo, ang mga ghostly jeep at trucks at madami pang iba... tunay na sa sobrang kaba di kami masyadong nakagalaw. ang tanging naririnig namin ay ang pagaspas ng malamig na bukang liwayway, ang mabilis na tibok ng aming mga puso at ang basang salawal ni nick. sa isang tagpo, sa sobrang takot namin ay naiwan namin ang aming matapang na cameraman na si bryan... buti na lang puno sha ng pagasang makikita niya muli si nene kaya kumaripas sha ng takbo at tinalon ang kotse ni aloc at muli shang nakasama sa aming biyahe patunong impyerno...alas sinko ng umaga at nakauwi kami sa tahanan nila berna. at natulog sa kama nilang maliit at dahil sa takot at tiwala sa isat isa kami ay pinagkasya ng tadhana sa mumunting kama na iyon... si bryan sa pagitang ng puwetan ni nick at sa toot ni norman. nagising kami na may pasalamat sa aming mga puso na buti pa naman at buhay pa kami... ------------------ thriller thriller nights |
September 12, 2004
a chain mail that caught my attention Posted at 10:29 PM Minsan, iniisip natin na mag LET GO... na mag MOVE ON... Iniisip pa lang natin, nasasaktan na tayo... What if we walk or talk to finally LET GO... BADTRIP!!! Masakit di ba? It breaks your heart even more kung alam mo sa sarili mo na, sobrang LOVE mo sya... Like, you've sacrificed A LOT!!! Marami ka nang nagawa na di mo nagagawa sa iba... Pero di niya lahat nakita yun! he/she's so blind to see and so deaf to hear!!! Why? Ewan ko ba...kung bakit may mga tao na... Sobrang... MANHID!!!!! Or probably nagmamanhid manhidan lang! Dahil ba...HINDI ka talaga niya GUSTO or IBA ang MAHAL niya... Hindi mo tuloy alam if you should let go of your feelings for his once and for all... As I've said... Mas madali siguro mag-LET GO if you know he doesn't give a thing about you... Syempre kung meron...hindi niya pababayaan na MAWALA ka... But if you think...OK lang sa kanya yun... Don't be a FOOL!!! LET GO... How would you fight for THE ONE you LOVE? MAHAL mo nga pero habang ipinaglalaban mo naman siya... ipinaglalaban niya din yung taong MAHAL NIYA!!! What are we to do? E ganyan talaga! REALITY BITES, as the saying goes... MASAKIT, MAHIRAP, PARANG di MO MAKAKAYA... OO, that's NORMAL sa pag LE-LET GO. Sometimes...you'ld really want to forget all the hurts and convince yourself that YOU'LL BE LOVING HIM/HER NO MATTER WHAT, COME WHAT MAY, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! Ang nakapagtataka pa dun...bakit ayan ka na naman.. di mo naisip...NAPATAWAD mo siya agad at nakalimutan ang sakit... PERO WALA NAMAN SiYANG GINAGAWA... WALA SIYANG GINAGAWA KUNDI SAKTAN KA!!! ang mas masakit pa dyan... THE DA** CYCLE GOES ON AND ON AND ON... Paulit-ulit lang yan.. OK.. Palusot ng IBA... pag mahal mo, di ka magsasawa... TAE!!!!! C'mon!!! MAGSAWA NA tayo sa MGA SAKIT na binibigay nila!!! THINK!!! kung gano natin sila kamahal...GANUN DIN nila tayo sinaktan... mahal ba natin sila dahil ganun sila? o ganun sila dahil ALAM mahal natin sila?!!! Hai... kumag talaga ang mga taong katulad nila... Dahil pinakawalan nila ang katulad natin! Im NOT expecting you guys to absorb everything i'm trying to say here... All I want is for u to REFLECT... BIBITAW NA BA AKO? Who knows... pag bitaw mo sa kanya... MAY DARATING na MAS DESERVING... Someone who will hold your hand and GROW OLD with you..... So now... Will you... MOVE ON AND LET GO... or be like that for life? Think... ---------------------------------------------------------- pag mahal mo kahit ilang beses ka saktan, pero kung mahal ka di ka niya sasaktan |
September 19, 2004
the hell week's over Posted at 12:17 PM thank GOD! hell week is behind our asses! wohoo! rejoice... nood kami sassy girl kina patrick alega... wala lang... the magic was still there... but it's not as funny as before... the magic's still there but slowly its getting stale... pero astig kasi kasama ko mga classmates ko... dapat kasi magiinuman kami kaso sablay... bawi agad. sayang pulutan na bnili namin ni madam mj. haaaaaay... tas ung nanay ko... tingin sakin drug adik ako... haha. astig. ano pa nga pala day 2 na ko nung purpose driven life wla so far, astig shang book. just hope na ill learn kung ano ang aking purpose sa mundong ito. kung bakit ako naglalakad sa isang bansa na puno ng korupsyon, pollusyon, kasakiman, at kung ano ano pang karantaduhan. sabi don... di aksidente na napunta ka sa pagkakataon na to. napunta ka dito kasi ikaw ay may purpose. ginawa ka ni GOD para mahalin ka nya. di ka kailangan ni GOD(kasi sa blessed trinity meron nang perfect love) gnawa ka niya para maexpress niya ang LOVE niya sayo. ginawa ka niya sa SOLE purpose na mahalin niya at magmahal ng iba. cge... SURVIVOR NGA PALA MAMAYA! -pastor allan |
September 19, 2004
what drives you? Posted at 11:21 PM it is finals week... well, di naman ako nagwoworry kasi sanay na ko sa finals sa skul... walang kakwenta kwenta at di mo magagamit ang mga pnagaralan mo i-analyze mo lang ung tanong at makukuwa mo ung sagot sa tanong mismo.. isa lang ang problema, sabay ung test ko sa dalawang subject. yari tayo jan. so kailangan ko magmadali dun sa isa para masagutan ko ung isa kasi di pede malate ng 20 mins. ah ewan... day three na ko sa PDL (purpose driven life) nagfofocus to sa driving force ng buhay mo? tinatanong dito-"what drives your life" so ano nga ba? everyones life is driven by something pde ang magdrive sa buhay mo ay problema, pressure, deadline... pde din ng isang masakit na memory, takot, o isang unconscious na paniniwala... sabi sa book lima ang common na circumstances na nagddrive sa isang tao. 1.MANY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN BY FEAR they spend their entire time/lives running from regrets and hiding their shame. GUILT DRIVEN PEOPLE ARE MANIPULATED BY MEMORIES they ALLOW their past to CONTOROL their future... n mali daw sabi ng bible. 2.MANY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN BY RESNETMENT AND ANGER They hold on to HURTS and never get over them. isa lang daw ang solution dito... MOVE ON get over it. forget the past. face the future. sabi dito: THOSE WHO HAVE HURT YOU IN THE PAST CANNOT CONTINUE TO HURT YOU NOW UNLESS YOU HOLD ON TO THE PAIN THROUGH RESENTMENT. YOUR PAST IS PAST! NOTHING WILL CHANGE IT. YOU ARE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF WITH YOUR BITTERNESS. FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, LEARN FROM IT, AND LET IT GO. let go of your past and face the future 3. MANY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN BY MATERIALISM Eto ay para sa mga materialistic na tao. PERA ang nagddrive sa kanilang buhay. mawawala daw ang wealth eventually, pero ang love ni GOD ay eternal at walang katumbas. WE ARE WEALTHY ENOUGH BECAUSE GOD LOVES US. 4. MANY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN BY THE NEED FOR APPROVAL. Eto ung mga taong napapagalaw ng takot na baka di gusto ng iba ung gagawin nila. halimbawa dito eh ung mga nagaasawang takot na ang magiging asawa nila ay ayaw ng magulang nila. isa pa eh sa mga anak. palagi nilang tinatanong:"ano kaya sasabihin ni mommy" palaging ganon... mali yon. you control your life. don't let anyone else control it. and lastly... 5. MANY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN BY GUILT shempre eto ung guilt na ginawa nila in the past. ayaw na nilang balikan ang mga to which makes them a coward. o aun. madami pang sinabi eh... ang mabuti bili na lang kau ng book. worth it naman eh. -pastor allan |
September 20, 2004
this life is preparation for the next Posted at 11:44 PM MADE TO LAST FOREVER day four ng PDF. primary message lang ng chapter na to eh, ginawa tau para maglast for eternity yung life natin sa earth ay isang preparation lang para sa magiging life natin sa langit. we are made to last forever isang araw, hihinto sa pagtibok ang puso natin. un ang magiging wakas ng katawan natin at nang oras natin sa mundo, pero not neccesarily un ang magiging end ng spirit natin. our earthly body is just a temporary residence of your spirit. sabi sa bible. ang earthly body natin daw ay ang 'tent', and it refers to our future body as the 'house' the bible says: When this tent we live in-our body here on earth-is torn down, god will have a house in heaven for us to live in, a home he himself has made, which will last forever and magiging relationship natin with GOD on earth will determine our relationship with him in eternity. basta un na un. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ God's plans endure forever; his purposes last eternally |
September 22, 2004
seeing life in GOD's view Posted at 11:02 AM THE WAY YOU SEE YOUR LIFESHAPES YOUR LIFE how you define you life defines your destiny... tama un. ung perspective mo sa buhay ang maghuhulma kung pano mo gagamitin ang oras mo sa mundo. pag tinanong kita kung "pano mo nakikita ang buhay mo?" ang image na mabubuo sa utak mo ay ang quote, unquote life metaphor mo.its the view of life you hold, consciously or unconsciously, in you mind. aun ay kung pano mo denedescribe ung buhay mo kung pano ito tumatakbo at kung ano ang ineexpect mo mula dito. your unspoken life metaphor influences your life more than you realize. it determines your expectations, your values, your relationships, your goals and priorities. halimbawa. kung sa tingin mo ang buhay ay isang party, malamang ang primary value mo sa buhay ay ang pagsasaya. o kung tingin mo sa buhay ay isang karera... palaging on the run ka sapagkat speed ang mahalaga sayo. o di kaya ang tingin mo sa buhay ay isang war or battle or game? shempre winning ang importante sayo... so, what is your view of life? you may be basing your life on a faulty life metaphor. to fulfill the purposes God made you for, you will have to challenge conventional wisdom and replace it with biblical metaphors on life dalawa sa mga metaphors na ito ay: life is a test, life is a trust t life is a temporary assignment life is a test sa bible, madaming kwento na puro test ang main story, merong nagfafail pero madami din ang nagtatagumpay... halimbawa, ung kay adam and eve, nagfail sila sa test diba? ung kay abraham? ung pina paalay ni GOD si Isaac sa kanya sa isang altar para gawing sacrifice... basta ang buhay ay puno ng test. lahat ng ito binabato sayo ni God so he can determine kung kaya mo iendure ang mga ito at maprepredetermine niya nga kung pupulutin ka ba sa kangkungan o sa langit. kaya kung may problema, test lang yan sayo... ginawa ito para nga magawa ka, mahasa ka para sa tunay mong purpose sa buhay. pag naisakokote mo na ang buhay ay isang test- malalaman mo na lahat ng bagay sa buhay mo ay mahalaga. even the smallest incident has significance fot your character development. life is a trust sinasabi na lahat ng binigay ni God satin ay pinagkatiwala niya satin. not neccesarily na binigay satin... parang niloan lang. ang mundo ay pagaari niya simula pa lang dumating ka dito para pangalagaan lang ito. at sa dulo ng iyong buhay ieevaluate ka at rerewardan according sa kung pano mo hinandle ang mga bagay na pinagkatiwala sayo ni God. --------------------------------------------------------- life is a test and a trust, and the more God gives you, to more responsible he expects you to be... |
September 22, 2004
September 23, 2004
Life is a temporary assignment Posted at 03:04 AM life on earth is a temporary assignment To make the best use of life, you must never forget two truths: Compared with eternity, life is brief Earth is only a temporary residence di ka magtatagal dito so don't get too attached. in order to keep us from being too attached to earth, God allows us to feel a significant amount of discontent and dissatisfaction on life- longings that will never be fulfilled on this side of eternity. we're not completely happy here because were not supposed to be earth is not our final home; ginawa tayo para sa mas maganda pa. when life gets tough, when you're overwhelmed with doubt, or when you wonder if living for christ is worth the effort, remember that you are not home yet at death you won't leave home-you'll GO home |
September 23, 2004
busog Posted at 12:21 PM busog ako... kasi kumain ako. wala lang. yeah. basta tutuloy ko mga kapastoran ko bukas oke? yeah. ------------------------------------------------- what will come will come and we'll have to face it when it does |
September 24, 2004
the feeling of not knowing what to believe Posted at 03:53 AM that's the hardest feeling of all. you don't know the answer to the current question then another question will suddenly rush to your dillusioned brain. oh well, whatever... that's a part of it. you know... dilemmas and crossroads... which road to take. which is which... and what to believe. being pained is always a part of it. it's always been, always will... its a sad truth but you have to face it, facing it means you are mature... and ready. you can really help and wonder why. the cycle goes and goes forever... well, whatever. |
September 25, 2004
thank GOD!!! Posted at 01:34 PM wala ako bagsak wohoooooo! next time ko na lang tutuloy ung mga kapastoran ko ok? yeah! wohoooo! apir! hehehe... the happy book im so f*cking happy |
September 26, 2004
wuiwuiwuiwui Posted at 10:02 PM pasensya na di ko matuloy ang aking evangelic whatevers... hehehe... busy kasi ako gumawa ng ultimate toot... hehe... at di un baby... oh well, super boring dito sa bahay... puro ako nood ng ragnarok the animated bullcrap... ayun, episode 13 na ko... ayus sia kasi nakakarelate ako, pero kung di ka makarelate sa isang game na tawag ay 'ragnarok' ay porget it na... mababaduyan ka... pero dahil nakahanap ako ng libangan... (the ultimate toot) ok na ko... mejo mabilis na tumatakbo ang oras... grabe 1 week pa... nasanay ako ng always on the go... ngaung walang pasok... subra ang kaboringan... ang init pa dito sa bahay, ber-months ba pero ang init pa den... eh ang er-con na sa kwarto ni momma... e lock naman. ay ewan... ngaun, kasalukuyan akong bagaayos ng schedule... grabe mukhang tambak tambak nanaman ang aking mga mahihirap na subjects... at may thesis na pala kami! linshak. oh well... isn't life grand? cge cge... layas na ko. ------------------------------ magkailaw man ay madilim pa din... kung wala ka... |
September 27, 2004
September 28, 2004
the day hath cometh Posted at 12:18 AM enrollment na whoooo... kaso ala pa den cache... lintik na yan. oi pano ba yan tnatamad na tlaga ako mag pastor pastoran... bshain nio na lang kasi ung book... astig sha madami kaung matututunan... nahanap ko na nga ung purpose ko eh. i think... pero sana un na nga un. ok ok? apir. |
September 30, 2004
at last something to waste my time on... Posted at 11:02 AM wahahaha! okok, 4 more (excruciating) days to go... pasukan na. nahypnotize kasi ako nung ale eh... kaya nagkandaloko loko yung CM ko... hay... dapat kasi di ako nagpapadala sa mga panlilinlang ng ibang tao eh... ayun. pero ayuz lang sana tama ung sinabi ni bryan* na pde daw ipaiba ung sched ko sa monday... pag di ko kasi naiba malalate ako ng isang sem... and we don't want that now... at di na boring ang mga araw ko ngaun... kasi bukod sa paggawa nung aking ultimate _____ eh nagkaroon nanaman ako ng isa pang panibagong libangan... which is smallville(thus the title) hehe... meron pala kami dito nung buong season three di ko alam... ayun. in 2 days naka sampung CD na ako.. at about sa aking evangelic whatevers... dun na ko sa day 12... sabi dito GOD WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH US... at un ang gnagwa ko dati pa... ala lang. kaya kaung lahat... be friends with HIM. share with him your thoughts. example may nakita kang chicks... you: Lord, may nakita akong chicks, grabe ang cute niya... oo kahit ano pde mo sabihin sa kanya... kahit mga bad thoughts you can tell him. in that way, you will be friends with him.oh yeah!? apir. *pinakagwapong tao sa mapua ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i need you now, more than i ever did |
September 30, 2004
and that's why you call it falling in love Posted at 11:14 AM When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if his or her happiness means that you're not part of it. Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love. Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time, though the hurting is still there to test you and to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall. You just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time. To love is to risk rejections; to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self; to love is to risk not to be loved in return. How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain. Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom that they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that these were the things which helped you grow. Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love because every time we do, we get hurt, then I figured that's why it's called falling in love. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- amen to that |
