Entries for November, 2004
November 1, 2004the weight of my deciscions were impossible to hold Posted at 12:38 PM Well, i'll wait till you listen I wont say a word To follow your instincts Just never worked for me Your silent but strong, (yeah, I'm playing that card) And your noticing nothing again Now I'm lying on the table With everything you said Keeping mind the way that it felt When the most I could do was to just blame myself (Yeah, I'm playing that card) When the most I could do was to just blame myself And I know you know, everything I know you didnt mean it I know you didnt mean it I know you know, everything (drop everything) I know you didn't mean it (start it all over) I know you didn't mean it (remember more then youd like to forget) So, we're talking forever And you almost feel better But, betters no excuse for tonight You see, it's never been enough Just to leave all you gave up But, its never good enough to feel right Now I'm lying on the table With everything you said It will all catch up eventually Well, it caught up and honestly The weight of my decisions Were impossible to hold Today we'll never know Today we'll never know Well I, know you know, everything I know you didnt mean it I know you didnt mean it I know you know, everything (drop everything) I know you didn't mean it (start it all over) I know you didn't meant it (remember more then youd like to forget) Drop everything, start it all over remember more then youd like to forget [x2] Would you like to forget Would you like to forget Drop everything, start it all over Well, drop everything start it all over (would you like to forget) Drop everything start it all over Start it all... Well I, know you know, everything I know you didnt mean it I know you didnt mean it I know you know, everything (drop everything) I know you didnt mean it (start it all over) I know you didnt meant it (remember more then youd like to forget) I know you know I know you know...you know, you know, you know |
November 2, 2004
move on and be happy Posted at 10:40 AM at last... wala lang happy nanaman ako ulit... hehe... wala naman mangyayari kung iniisip ko ang inevitable... shempre sakit naman kung palagi na lang ganito... its the righttime to move on. ay ewan ko ba, tama na to cguro... shado nang complicated. tama nga sila... di pa nga siguro time, palagi na lang ako napapraning. sino nga ba naman ako eh sumingit nga lang naman ako sa eksena. diba? eto, may nilagay na kong grace period, pag napatunayan kong totoo nga tong mga naiisip ko, cge the end na nga. pero kapraningan lang nanaman cguro to... pag wala pa den... cge bbye na. friends na lang cguro. shempre di ko naman sha agad malilimutan no.. pero shempre may dadating din balang araw... malay mo. sasaya din siya, sasaya din ako.. pero siguro sa iba... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this will be the last time we'll be friends again, and i'll get over you and you'll wonder who i am... and there's this burning like there's always been, i never been so alone, and i never been so alive |
November 2, 2004
think of all the things we could improve Posted at 11:37 AM broad incision sits across the evening The victim to our fathers lost war The restless children sit and mourn the graves Of those they've never seen before Will they be buried here among the dead? In the silent secret The pioneers In dealing with it they march for dawn, of Will and worthy The truth be told the child was born Man your own jackhammer Man your battle stations We'll have you dead pretty soon Sincerely written from my brother's blood machine Man your own battle station We'll have you home pretty soon Awake through motion with curiosity to curtain your first move Over arms length they'll break protocol Jealous envy for the youngest one To be the hero is all I'll ask Can I be buried here among the dead? With room to honor me here in the end You'll be better off too soon You'll be better off when you get home For you, I'd do anything just to make you happy, hear you tell me that you’re proud of me For them, I'll kill anything cut the throats of babies for them break their hearts for they were them Waiting for you to say… I love you too The navigator The pilot Her favorite The one they call the vision that bears the gift Will, Do the children really understand the things you did to them? And why oh why… Should they conjure up the will for you my love I would kill him we're coming home pretty soon Coming home In the seventh turning hour Will the victims shadow fall? Should the irony grow hungry? With the victory and all they sought for We were one among the fence One among the fence We're coming home Man your own jackhammer Man your battle stations We'll have you dead pretty soon And now Sincerely written from my brother's blood machine Man your battle stations We'll have you home pretty soon tonight |
November 3, 2004
wooot... Posted at 01:18 AM taenang kapraningan to oo... sana naman wag totoo... kaya kayo mga bata ah, wag tutulad sa akin... laging tandaan mga bata ah! babye! |
November 3, 2004
*&_)($#!!! badtrip! Posted at 09:10 AM *&_)($#!!! badtrip... ay oo nga pala nagtxt si __________ . wala lang... ^__^ ok na sana binadtrip nanaman ako nung frend ko eh. onti na lang talaga... may hangganan din tong pasensya ko. |
November 3, 2004
November 3, 2004
super thesis Posted at 10:43 PM so early in the morning and i am making this gut wrenching, trauma inducing, body shaking thesis... oh well, gotta go. |
November 4, 2004
and there's this burning like there's always been Posted at 11:53 AM tama na siguro... just give me a sign and i will stop this stupidity this very instant. this very fucking instant... ----------------------------------- Summer time and the wind is blowing outside In lower chelsea and I don’t know What I’m doing in this city The sun is always in my eyes It crashes through the windows And I’m sleeping on the couch When I came to visit you That’s when I knew I could never Have you I knew that before you did Still I’m the one who’s stupid And there’s this burning Like there’s always been I never been so alone And I’ve never bee n so alive Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by The cigarette ash flies in your eyes And you don’t mind, you smile And say the world doesn’t fit with you I don’t believe you, you’re so serene Careening through the universe Your axis on a tilt , you’re guiltless and free I hope you take a piece of me with you And there’s things I’d like to do That you don’t believe in I would like to build something But you never see it happen And there’s this burning Like there’s always been I’ve ne ver been so alone And i’ve, I’ve never been so alive And there’s this burning There is this burning Where’s the soul I want to know The city is evil The surface is everything but I could never do that Someone would see through that And this is our last time We’ll be friends again I’ll get over you, you’ll wonder who I am And there’s this burning Just like there’s always been I’ve never been so alone alone And i’ve, and I’ve never been so alive So alive I go home to the coast It starts to rain I paddle out on the water Alone Taste the salt and taste the pain I’m not thinking of you again Summer dies and swells rise The sun goes down in my eyes See this rolling wave Darkly coming to take me Home And I’ve never been so alone And I’ve never been so alive |
November 4, 2004
who the fuck are you? Posted at 11:39 PM oi pnagbbntangan ako nung frend ko. ala lang, grabe, ilang beses ata kami nag away kahapon... amp... nakakaguilty talaga pag may umiiyak na frend sa harap mo tapos ikaw ung dahilan... pero sabi ko last na un. last na nga... promise... amp. tapos my stalker pa ata un... amp talaga... tapos, tapos ang labas eh ako yung kontra-bida... T________T amp... mamatay man siya wala akong alam don. at wala din alam ung isang frend ko na pnagbbntangan nya... at para don sa babaeng yon: "tangina mo, mind your own business, wala ako panahon sa mga katulad mo... ang cheap mo. apir." |
November 5, 2004
smashed into pieces Posted at 11:04 AM Never Again. I'll slit my throat with the knife I pulled out of my spine. Maybe when you find out that I'm dead, you'll realize what you did to me. And if my lungs still let me breathe, would you breath air for me. If I can make myself believe, I'll give you back what you took away. No, I won't let it go. Douse myself in gasoline. So don't save me when you come into the fire. I'd rather die than have to see your smile. You made me swear. I can't sleep. Realize all the things that you took from me. Smash my heart (you made me swear) into dust.(you made me swear) Suffocate my mind.(you made me swear) Tear at me from inside.(you made me swear) Smash apart what you created. How can i ever stop you from crushing my soul? It was yours to begin with. |
November 5, 2004
giving up Posted at 02:56 PM I used to make the light shine for you. The sun has left my sky. Velvet walls surround my sorrows. I’ve sacrificed my pride. You’re giving up on me. I’ve laid myself to sleep tonight. I know you’ve played out everything in your mind. And now you throw it all away. A shattered memory that you would stay, through thick and thin with me. You’re giving up on me. I’ve laid myself to sleep tonight. I know you’ve played out everything in your mind. And now you throw it all away. A shattered memory that you would stay, through thick and thin with me. And when you feel the pain, I’m wishing I could stay. How can I say I love you back, you never made me happy. You’ve laid yourself to sleep, I never said this wouldn’t hurt. You gave up everything; I never said I’d give it back. I know you’ll never change; I won’t be good enough for you. I know, you’ll make it through, I’ll never be around to see. And now you throw it all away. A shattered memory that you would stay, through thick and thin with me. You’re giving up on me. giving up silverstein |
November 6, 2004
November 6, 2004
naruto... Posted at 11:44 PM pare astig talaga naruto... tragis yan. natapos ko na ung manga... grabe... asteg... ok. cge layas na ko ppnta pa ko kina ***** apir! |
November 7, 2004
damn it... Posted at 12:10 PM i miss somebody already kagad kahit kasama lang kami a few hours ago... ala lang. |
November 7, 2004
damn it... Posted at 12:10 PM i miss somebody already kagad kahit kasama lang kami a few hours ago... ala lang. cge nuod pa ko naruto 101-107 at ung 2 movies... geh |
November 8, 2004
November 8, 2004
life... Posted at 11:40 AM si allan nasa phone kausap ang isang friend habang nanonood ng slamdunk... tapos dumating ang kanyang nanay. allan: oi sandali lang ah. friend: cge. lumapit si allan sa kanyang nanay para mag bless. nanay: aga mo ah. pumunta ang nanay sa kusina at napansin ang isang plato nang pnagkainan sa isang lamesa sa dirty kitchen nila allan. nanay: (lumapit sa sala kung nasan ang mga magkakapatid) ano nanaman ba yan, di man lang nailagay ang plato sa lababo eh ang lapit lapit kapatid: para quits. nanay: ano nanaman ba nangyari!? kapatid: eh ayan eh! yung pagkain nakababad sa mantika! blah blah...(di ko alam ung exact word pero parang ganun) nanay:(super litanya nanaman tungkol kung gano nahihirapan ung katulong namin sa bahay) blah blah kapatid:ayoko na! palagi na lang blah blah... pumunta sa kusina at dinuro duro ang katulong nila allan.. ang nanay nila paiyak na at patuloy pa rin ang mala armalite na bibig. si allan at si kapatid2 eh wlang imik sapagkat sanay na sila sa mga ganitong tagpo sa kanilang bahay. so what else is new? |
November 9, 2004
November 10, 2004
... Posted at 09:01 AM Walked away, heard them say "Poison hearts will never change, walk away again" Turned away in disgrace Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within It's hard to notice gleaming from the sky When you're staring at the cracks It's hard to notice what is passing by with eyes lowered You... walked away, heard them say "Poisoned hearts will never change, walk away again" All the cracks will lead right to me And all the cracks will crawl right through me All the cracks, they lead right to me And all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart As I... walked away, heard them say "Poisoned hearts will never change" Walked away again Turned away in disgrace Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything Or were you sent to save me? I've thought too much, you won't find anything... Worthy of redeeming Yo he esta-do agui muchas veces antes y regreso To... break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away Imperfect cry, and scream in ecstasy So what befalls the flawless? Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully Now watch as it destroys me Y regreso agui otra vez y comienzo To... break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away Break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away I left it all behind, and never said goodbye I left it all behind, and never said goodbye I left it all behind, and never said goodbye I left it all to die I saw its birth, I watched it grow I felt it change me I took the life, I ate it slow Now it consumes me I... break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away Break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away ... Heart away |
November 10, 2004
minsan matuto ka naman magsorry... Posted at 01:57 PM minsan kasi kahit ako ung naagrabyado... its always me who ends up saying the apologies... sawa na ko. |
November 11, 2004
early morning stressful rants Posted at 12:24 AM fuck i am so fucking confused... what to think? i dont care... i just think too much... i just hope that what she says is true... |
November 11, 2004
feeels so good Posted at 01:49 PM oh yeah... sarap ng walang away... un lang. chaka naruto 108 astig. |
November 12, 2004
November 12, 2004
November 12, 2004
November 12, 2004
November 13, 2004
November 14, 2004
November 15, 2004
pseudo-meat you ruined my stomach! Posted at 01:16 PM fuck! ill never eat those i-look-like-meat-but-i-am-really-a-veggie shit ever again... kanina pa ko pabalik balik sa banyo! grrrr... damn those who invented the pseudo-meat! go to hell!! |
November 16, 2004
November 17, 2004
i never really loved you anyway... Posted at 04:25 AM if that's just the case... kaso hindi. ---------------- this will be the last time we'll be friends again and i'll get over you, and you'll wonder who i am... and there's this burning like there's always been i never been so alone and i never been so alive |
November 17, 2004
boo! gutom na ako! Posted at 11:34 AM kanina pa ko d2 lab... pauwiin nio na kami mam... astig nga pala kanina... habang 'nagaaral' ako (sa systad) nagtext bigla si czarina... at nandon pala sha sa skul. magiinquire na sha dito... lilipat... kaso may prob eh. di nia alam kung tatanggapin sha kasi di daw pde ung may dinrop at bnagsak na subject... eh wala shang kasama kasi ang kilala nia lang sa mapua eh ung pinsan nia (na may class), si jonaz (na di alam kung san makikita) at ako. eh aun, sinamahan ko sha maginquire... tapos aun, ininvite nia ako sa bday nia sa 27, kaso sa friday gaganapin (26) pero sabi niya kung di daw kami makakapunta baka mamove sa saturday... pero baka malabo din kasi aalis yata sila ng pamili nia... tapos aun, kwentuhan lang (di na ko nakapagaral sa systad)... sabi nia muntik na daw marape/holdup si kaibigang faye. (best friend nya) ganito ang scenario: galing si faye kina czarina kagabi... tapos, nung pauwi na si faye, di na sha nag jeep kasi bawal na ata sa health nya polusyon (may malubha kasi syang karamdaman) eh ayun, manyakis pala yung driver dinaan na siya sa ibang lugar na sabi daw ng driver eh shortcut.. tapos ayun, nilock ung pinto... nung kinakabahan na si faye... binuksan nia daw ung pinto tapos tatalunin nia sana, kaso nahawakan nung malibog na driver ung paa ni faye... tapos ayun nagpupumiglas si faye at buti na lang nakatakas sha...kawawa naman, buti na lang walang nangyari sa kanya... basta sana dito na sya makapag aral para astig... wahaha.. miss ko na kulitan to the max eh... sana sumunod na rin si faye. at oo nga pala... wala lang.. |
November 18, 2004
November 19, 2004
sorry if i am below the standard... Posted at 10:52 AM sorry talaga... -------------------------- Wake up My love Never thought you'd make me, break me Now I'm up from below Such a brilliant star you are And will your love keep burning baby? |
November 20, 2004
She... Posted at 03:00 PM She is like a shooting star that lighted up my whole sky and for a moment nothing else matters... She is like an endless dream, running hopelessly nowhere... She burns and in her radiance i melt.. whileShesilently weeps, my heart shatters... and she... Sheis my everything and such a brilliant star you are... ------------------------- anak ng tinapa ang baduy mo! |
November 21, 2004
November 23, 2004
thesis... Posted at 02:36 PM thesis you are a sore... thesis i hate... thesis... |
November 24, 2004
super damn tired... Posted at 09:01 AM im super exhausted after that oh so ever jolly overnights... anlayo nung pnuntahan namin... ayun. geh geh... gagawa pa ko thedos... grabe na tong pasakit sakin ng term na to (picture of battlescars to be uploaded soon) hay... |
November 27, 2004
Volcano High and Kakashi Posted at 10:03 PM pucha naeenganyo ako ngaun sa mga korean movies ah... wala lang. kahit baduy sila umarte ang kukyut nung mga girls... geh geh. |
November 28, 2004
putanginangbadtrip Posted at 01:26 PM naubos halos kalahati ng aking MP3 collection... tangina talaga... hmp... T_T |
November 28, 2004
mr. carl allan vela's upcoming schedule. Posted at 01:34 PM monday- ala pasok (dapat magsusurvey, kaso WALA DING PASOK HS STUDENTS)/ gawa systad tuesday- PASAHAN NA! ng final docu. (dadayain na lang ang survey) wednesday- pasahan ng Round Robin Algo... (san kaya ako makakakuwa) thursday- gagawa ng gagawa friday- suicide allan's job queue thesis system development theory of operating systems systad systad systad thedos thedos thesis thesis (repeat 5x) OH NOW I FEEL HOW IT IS LIKE IN COLLEGE! |
November 29, 2004
the light and the glass Posted at 12:41 PM Slowly the pen touches paper in the guidance of the words that you write. Memories roll in; of the things you once did and who you had shared them with. Is somebody thinking of you? Did I bother telling you this, with the words that cross teeth and jump lips? A poor choice of words, in wanting to tell you anything. But words don't come with ease. They're forever my hurt. Would it really matter, if you were to count the days left with your hands? Your focus secure and the loves you left; well smiles staged in photographs here until... You, you left the light on. There's a chance I might have tripped, girl You were there to hold on. Ignoring the words of your obnoxious little brother; kill or be killed spilled the words from your mother. I'll lay awake for a while. I'll leave the light on a while. But you couldn't last a lifetime. Caught between here and the days of it; carving her name across your arm with every wish. It's hit or miss... her. I told you so. I measured distance in lines departing the rest of my life. But you, you, you... you had better things to do Liar, liar, liar, liar. If you get put to sleep, like an old dog, you're better off. If you get put to sleep; I've been cautious with the words I extend. Allow this year before the world starts to end. Your father's dead. He passed in his sleep, and I woke to the sounds of her crying. Your father's dead. He passed in his sleep. Pray for us all. [to fade] |
November 29, 2004
November 30, 2004
putangina talaga Posted at 01:48 AM tangina nung mga taong ginawa mo na ang lahat eh badtrip pa rin. tangina talaga... tapos sasabihin wala gnawa! eh pakain ko kaya sa kanya ung mga putanginang wrong grammar nia na inaayos ko... putangina! walang ginagawa pala huh!? |
